We have all seen the commercials for the latest pharmaceutical masterpiece. A brand new drug that will solve any problem you may have, even some you didn’t know you had until this very commercial. They start with some vague innocent question to the viewer, “Do you, or does someone you know, feel tired in the morning?” The unsuspecting viewer thinks, Hey, I feel tired in the morning sometimes. Then the commercial spirals the viewer into a virtual panic attack by listing all of the horrible diseases ever associated with fatigue. (which is perhaps the most vague symptom in existence) So now, instead of just being a little tired in the morning, like most working adults, you have herpes, or cancer, or even worse, you can’t get a boner! And for a nominal fee, (if you have insurance) they can cure your ailment.
But for those of us that like to read the fine print, or at least pay attention, there is usually a very quick, subtle little ‘FYI’ at the end of each commercial. This tends to contain some minor little details like “possible side effects”. Some so outrageous that the jokes tend to write themselves. “May cause rectal bleeding, infertility, or sudden death!” Oops, I’m sorry, but it sounded like you said sudden death? That’s right, the medication you have taken to help improve your mood, or enhance your manhood might kill you instead. It has actually happened with enough regularity that they are required to put a disclaimer in the commercial. This should probably scare people more than it does.
People seldom fear the right things. We buy hand sanitizer by the gallon in hopes of warding off the latest media hyped virus, but have no problem reading a text message while driving 70mph on our way to purchase it. We are petrified of speaking in front of a room full of people, but have no problem spewing personal drama to hundreds of them on Facebook or Twitter. The problem with most ‘normal’ people is that they are just that…. normal.
Kelsey David Burnham – Slow Code